White Girl Status



 

       White Girl Status.

 

Luckily, I have been one of the many that have deemed this title, as seen in the photo above. I don't see it as much of a problem but more as a medal of honor. I am a proud white girl. Every white girl has those few essentials. Maybe you're at white girl status and don't even realize it! Here is a list of common white girl status essentials.

1. Yoga Pants and North Face Jackets
1. Yes. This is the first essential because every single white girl does this, except maybe in California because it's hot all year round. Now those yogas are just any old yoga. No way. A white girl insists that their yogas come strictly from Victoria's Secret and no where else. If you even try to fake a North Face jacket, white girls will know. North Face is their own brand and you can't try to duplicate or copy it. Of course, no white girl yogas and north faces are complete without a pair of UGG boots. Can't go wrong with an UGG, unless of course, it's fake. A white girl WILL call you out it.
2. Victoria's Secret
1. No white girl can pass up a Victoria's Secret. It doesn't even matter if you have money or not. Walk in, window shop, and get the hell out. If you have money, or if you're lucky enough to have their credit card, watch out. A common white girl will got ape shit crazy and buy up the entire store, mostly yoga pants and panties.
3. Starbucks Coffee
1. Now it is essential to have Starbucks. If a white girl doesn't get her Starbucks fix, watch out! They will go insane. The longest any white girl can go without Starbucks is two days. They know the menu inside and out and they will know when you messed up and order. I, personally, enjoy an ice soy pumpkin spice latte, which is only available in the fall.
4. Iphones, Ipads, and Imacs
1. Yes. Apple is an essential part of a white girl. The apps are completely endless. They are always in need to be in touch with someone. Iphones are utalized the most. They are taken to the gym, helping white girls everywhere keep in touch with their friends when they should be paying attention in class. Most white girls enjoy taking them tanning so they can take pictures of themselves in a tanning bed. Ipads are also an essential item with a white girl. If your Iphone is out of reach, Ipads make up. You can still utalize imessage and talk to all your friends, and none of your apps are out of reach. Ever. Which leads me to the next topic.
5. Apps Apps Apps
1. Apps are essntial to a white girl. Most of the time you'll see a common white girl in their environment instagramming food and of course, Starbucks. If you didn't instagram it, then it sure as hell didn't happen. Pinterest goes a long way with a white girl. Hours and hours are spent pinning ideas that probably won't ever happen in a million years. Future wedding ideas that won't ever be looked at again, food that's obviously too fat for a white girl to eat, and clothes that the common white girl probably won't ever own. Facebook! Always keeping a white girl in the loop with whose breaking up, whose getting engaged, and who the drunk sloppy white girl is that they saw the weekend before. All Women Stalk. It's just like pinterest, only better. Believe that or not. Lists upon lists of the common white girls' favorite things. They can look from lifestyle changes, to dieting, to weddings, and more! They honestly can't get enough. Then of course they have to share what's on their mind. Where do they do that, you ask?
6. TWITTER!
1. Yes, common white girls love twitter. It's their place of worship. Of course everyone wants to know that you want Starbucks coffee and then obviously everyone needs to know when you got your Starbucks coffee, and then again a picture of it, because if there isn't a photo then it obviously didn't happen. I, for one, post numerous posts on twitter than I am sure no one cares about. I post about food. I post about fitness. I can positively tell you that none of my followers care if there is a video gamer at the gym. However, since I am an average white girl, I have to tell the world anything that's happening. But hey good comes out of twitter too, I found myself a common white boy, that I will soon be marrying.
7. Drunk Pictures
1. If you're confused as to whether or not you're a common white girl, go on facebook and look at your tagged photos. Do you have a lot of photos where youre holding a red solo cup? Or do you have photos where you're at a party and need to show the world that you're there? Then you are probably a common white girl. White girls love to show people where they were, what they were doing, who they were with, and especially that they were drinking and having fun. If you weren't at a party and you were instead playing with your cat while watching Netflix, you probably aren't as white girl as you thought.
8. Taco Bell vs dieting?
1. It's weird since more common white girls are on diets, but all they talk about is taco bell. They are obsessed with that dog food shit. I can't see why. It's garbage. But having a taco in your hand while instagraming does in fact make you a common white girl. However, calories are always on a white girls mind so they most likely will be ordering of the fresco menu where every calorie is labeled by it's cute little name. Yes the grilled chicken taco sounds delightful. I'll take three please!
9. Cardio!
1. If you're at the gym and youre not on the elliptical, youre not a common white girl. The more cardio you have per day, the better. Weights? What are weights? Common white girls are definitely too afraid to be lifting. No need to get bulky now.
10. SEX
1. Yes, this may come as a shocker to most of you (I am immature and laughed at that) but most white girls love talking about sex. They can't help themselves. It's addicting. IF the sex is good, they will tell you. If he has a small dick, they will publish it in the school newspaper. Whatever it is, a white girl will talk about it.  

Now I am sure many of you will become offended by this post, but that's a common white girl thing too. It was all meant to be taken as a joke, as most of this stuff happens in my life on a daily basis. Just laugh, get some humor out of it and move on. Nothing serious here. Until next time, stay classy San Fran.